Who is ANTOLINO?

About the "Antolino" Center

Two-year-old Antolino Hernandez died because his grandfather was too busy drinking to notice his grandson was also drinking. Antolino Family Wellness Center came to be because an incident such as this can be prevented and must be prevented.

Antolino Family Wellness Center was created in 1994 by Julia Carmen – who was born a number of years after her brother Antolino died. Julia has said that throughout her family’s history there have been many men in a constant state of disharmony, which in turn has affected those whom they love. When we come into this world, we are innocent. In order for us all to succeed we must realize “it” is within and “it” has never abandoned us. At the Antolino Family Wellness Center we invite our clients to return to that first sense of self. As the Executive Director of the Antolino Family Wellness Center, Julia understands that the real lesson is not disharmony but love and forgiveness.

Antolino Hernandez

(1945-1947)

My Brother's Story                      

As I jot down notes that led to the inspiration of Antolino Family Wellness Center, I can’t help but reminisce about a number of difficult times in my life that I have shared and that I have lived with those whom I love. What starts with one painful memory snowballs into many dark family secrets that until recently were swept under the rug. So why open the closet door for the skeletons to fall out? Because in order to start the healing process we need to face the pain head on and take charge of ourselves, take charge of the strength we all possess, and take charge of our own lives for the better. We deserve it. It’s our birth right to love ourselves first and foremost.

It is my hope that in sharing a portion of my story, that you will see within yourself the self-love and courage to inspire those who are also in need. We are not alone.

It is my hope that in sharing a portion of my story, that you will see within yourself the self-love and courage to inspire those who are also in need. We are not alone.

My brother’s life (1945-47) began and ended in Zacatecas, Mexico. He, like all of the twelve Hernandez children, was the grandchild of Juan Hernandez, our paternal Abuelito (grandfather). At that time, Juan was known as the local drunk and he had a violent streak. One day, just like any other day, my mother Esperanza left my two oldest brothers Ramiro and Antolino in Abuelito’s care while she went to the local mill to grind the maize for her tortillas. Juan and a few of his campadres spent the afternoon drinking while the two young toddlers dallied at their feet.

Although he was only three-years-old, Ramiro was given several drinks and eventually passed out. Two-year-old Antolino, who had the measles, was also given alcohol and fell into a deep sleep. Soon Esperanza was called from the mill. Her two young sons could not be awakened. She administered a home remedy to her boys trying to flush the alcohol, the poison, from their small bodies. Eventually Ramiro came to but his brother never did. Antolino died in his mother’s cradling arms. Esperanza’s screams could be heard throughout the village. All her life, she has never forgotten the unbearable smell of pure alcohol seeping out of Antolino’s lifeless body. More amazing, perhaps, is that she was eventually able to forgive my grandfather.

While my parents Manuel and Esperanza blamed Juan for their loss, my eldest brother Ramiro took on the shame and burden of his younger brother’s death. No matter how we all told him it was not his fault, not ever his doing, he believed it was - he believed that he gave the alcohol to Antolino, not Grandpa Juan. Having love and loyalty for his Abuelito, Ramiro held firm to this protective guilt until his death in 2006.

My mother’s name, Esperanza, means “hope.” Hope is what I have for Antolino Family Wellness Center and for the family’s that come through. My mother forgave. We all forgave my grandfather. And my grandfather was able to heal through all that love. That is what Antolino’s Family Wellness Center is – a place for healing, a place where we can begin again as the loving beings we are meant to be.